Tips on hitting on strippers, POV and being a creepy old man

I pretty much had one of the RADDEST and LONGEST and RADDEST weekends ever. Where to start hmmm day 1 I guess…

Day 1 Thursday..

I am a total slacker to start off, I still had shit to move out of my apartment. I got almost all of my shit from my old apartment on thursday. Now I only got most of it for two reasons, one I had to catch my flight from San Diego to Sacramento and two I am a lazy fucker sometimes. So I drop my stuff off at my buddies house and had them drop me off at the airport. Now its about noonish so I start drinking. Now I don’t plan on getting drunk…yet. So I get on my plane don’t really do much but listen my iPhone and read Maxim. I get off the plane and call the lovely Joanna Angel . She doesn’t like to drive so I figured she wasn’t going to pick me up from an airport that she isn’t familar with and I figured right, she had a town car pick me up, I felt special. I show up at her hotel say hi and we hang out for a bit. I asked her, “So what do you want me to do this weekend” mostly because I really didn’t know. “Your gonna be my roadie” she replied. Oh that makes perfect sense. No, we actually both didn’t know what I was going to do, but roadie I guess is the term used by “feature” dancers to describe the guy that carries bags of shoes, picks up dollar bills of the stage after the “feature” is done on stage and be the tough looking guy when the “feature” is signing autographs and selling DVD’s. Now I had the first two down pat. Looking tough, well I guess I looked kinda tough compared to the other strppers there but compared to the bouncers, not so much. I’m like 6’1″, 175 pounds these fucking bouncers were, on average, 6’4″, 300 pounds, so I really didn’t need to look that tough. Anyway we get picked up from one of the guys from the the amazing, the fabulous and super rad Gold Club Centerfolds and go to the club. This place was super rad (I said that already but I have to make sure everyone gets the fact I really dug the place). I guess it used to be a big empty warehouse and somebody come along one day and decided to make it a strip club with a porn store attached to the side of it, pretty cool huh. So Joanna and I go up the “feature” dressing room, there were about a million posters and 8×10’s of all the pornstars that had been feature dancers there some of my personal favorites included Penny Flame , Jezebelle Bond , Gia Paloma , and even Jenna Jamison (I guess she hates porn now so fuck linking her). It was neat to say the least. Now before we got there we decided to get some vodka and Red Bull to have a couple cocktails while we were at the club that night. Now I do like to drink, but I usually only drink beer. Also I really like Red Bull, I can drink the shit like water. So I didn’t really pace myself drinking all of this alcohol, I’ll get to the end result of that later.
So Joanna goes and does her feature dance thing, she totally rocked. I really appreciate the fact that she didn’t wear typical stripper atire or use typical stripper music. She was totally hot and totally did things her way which is so awesome and why she has the coolest fans ever. I did my roadie thing picked up dollars off the stage and what not all while proceeding to get fucking wasted. It really snuck up on me, I went from kinda buzzed to pretty much obliterated in about five seconds. I totally puked in the club managers bathroom, classy right? Well we get back to the hotel at the end of the night, I guess (now I say I guess because I’m telling this little part of the story second hand from what Joanna told me) we got some pizza at the hotel, which I insisted on paying for, ate half of it, then passed out on the couch in the room while Joanna blogged (everyone blogs it’s totally the cool thing to do).

Day 2 Friday

I woke up the morning by my alarm on my phone “Fuck it’s early, I’m not hungry for breakfast I’m sleeping in for a bit”. It was 9:30 and I think I was still drunk from the night before, actually I know I was still drunk, whatever. So I get up walk around the hotel for a bit trying to get not drunk. Why was I up so early you may be asking yourself, well Joanna had to be at the club at about 11:30 (yeah thats AM not PM) to dance at noon. Now I guess that there is a big lunch crowd or something there, well all I saw were a few creepy old dudes that were checking out hot chicks taking their clothes off. Cool for the girls taking their clothes off. So Joanna does her dance thing, I yell and scream because I love her. Now I am still kinda hung over/drunk, every bouncer kept asking me how I was doing because I was so wasted the night before, I just replied with, “I’m fucking fantastic”. After Joanna was done we got some lunch from the club (which was really good) and headed back to the hotel. We ate then I decided it was FNT (fucking nap time, I think I’ll add that term to the urban dictionary someday).
I woke up from my nap feeling fucking fantastic (for reals this time), we got ready (again) and headed back to the club so Joanna could sign at the pornstore next to the club. We go there set up are stuff and hang out. A few fans came by and were soooooo excited to see Joanna, it reminded me of the first time I met her, she is so sweet to her fans and loves each of them so much. Now there were a couple older guys that showed up that were mostly just fans of porn, which is totally cool, that were kinda creepy. One dude was there almost the entire time we were down there just kinda hanging out. He was nice but just a little creepy, I hope I don’t turn into a creepy old guy, I just want to turn into a perverted old guy. We were kinda bored so I decided to try on some stripper costumes that were in the store, I didn’t take any pictures but Joanna did so if you go here I’m sure Joanna will put them up sometime. Well we wrapped up at the pornstore and headed back up the feature room to get ready for Joanna’s first feature dance of the night.
Now here is the part where I give you tips on hitting on strippers. Strippers want your money fisrt and foremost, thats not exactly a bad thing, that is how they make money, by wanting your money. They will tell you what you want to here to get you to give them more money, if you ever think that a stripper “really likes” you, you might be right, but odds are you are wrong. This is totally not a bad thing if you are a stripper and are getting offended, fucking get over it. I love strippers and I think it’s a great way to make money because most guys are dumb and maybe feel like shit because their wives treat them like shit but you girls make them feel better. ANYWAY, I went down to order me and Joanna some more food, while down there I noticed one of the girls sitting at the bar wearing a shirt saying “I like nice boys”. I of course let her know that I’m a nice boy, she smiles and I walk away and bring some ice or a drink or something back up to Joanna. I come back down from the “feature” room and this girl is still down there. “Rad”, I thought now I’m gonna talk to her and see what happens.

BST-“So are you just gonna sit here and look pretty?”

Hot Stripper Girl (HSG)-“No, I’m just waiting for my food.” *giggling and smiling*

BST-“Oh, so am I. Do you want to come eat with Joanna and I upstairs”

HSG-“Can I do that”

BST-“Of course, I’m the roadie what I say goes, I run this shit yo.” (I actually don’t run anything but I asked Joanna earlier if I could bring girls up there and she said it was cool)

HSG-“Yeah I’ll come up”

BST-“Rad, well our foods done lets go”

So we head up there and eat while Joanna gets ready. Now not only was this girl super fucking cute, she was actually an intelligent person. Now I’m not saying all girls that work in strip clubs are fucking rocks, but you’ve all heard and seen the stereotypes. We talk for a while, get to know eachother, mind you the whole time I am not saying or impling at all that I want to hook up with this girl (even though I totally do). After we eat she says she has to go back downstairs and dance on stage.

BST-“Well if you want to you can come back up here and we can make out and cuddle for a bit”

HSG-“If I do that, you’d be one lucky guy”

BST-“Why is that?”

HSG-“I only like girls”

FUCK!!! Of cousre I bring up the girl wearing the “I like nice boys” shirt who doesn’t like boys at all. My bad. Later on in the night HSG was leaving the club and while I was saying goodbye to her I asked:

BST-“So you’re telling me I have no chance at all?”

HSG-“Well you live in San Diego”

BST-“Yeah but I visit from time to time”

HSG-“Ok, here’s my number, send me a dirty text sometime”

YES, not a complete crash and burn, I can even get girls that like girls to hang out with me.

Later on that night while we were hanging out in the VIP section selling DVD’s and what not, I aske one of the bouncers Nate if I could give the girls lap dances. “The customers or the dancers”. “The strippers, duh”. He said he didn’t care and asked me which one I was talking about. I describe Natalie, wow she was hot, tall, long legs, curley sue style red and blonde hair and a cute little lip piercing. Nate was rad, he says ok, walks back to the dressing room and gets her for me. We go back to the lap dance area and I start going to town with my lap dance skills. About one minute into it Nate comes back there and says “Hey come over here so no one can see you two”. That is one kick ass bouncer!!! So we continue in a more “hidden” area, of course I start making out with here, sucking on her boobies and playing with her vagina. Of couse she gives me a lap dance, for free (duh give a little get a little), then we talked for a bit and what not. Nate came back there and he was dissapointed in me that me dick was not inside of her. Whatevs, I didn’t want to get her in trouble so I didn’t really try to but my weiner in her.
Joanna finished up that night, I collected all her dollar bills and we went back to the hotel, this time I was not fucking wasted and puking all over the managers bathroom or ordering pizza in the hotel lobby, good job BST.

Day 3

This was a good day for a few reasons. One, I was not hung over and got to sleep in. Two the club was super busy with all kinds of fans and people. Three I didn’t puke in the managers bathroom for the second night in a row. Mostly Saturday was like friday except I didn’t give anyone a lap dance and there were more people in the club. But one of the stripper seemed to really like me, like alot. She came up to me about four or five times and started making out with me “back stage”. That was pretty cool. Oh and one of the girls I had met earlier in the week came to the club in her PJ’s just to say hi to me (I don’t think that was her only reason but she did regardless and I thought she was super hot so it was cool).
We got all done and headed back to the hotel around 3:30 am (pay attention to this time thing it’s gonna start being a factor in my story). Joanna packed up all her shoes and her outfits then a guy from the club came to pick her up around 4:30 am to take her to the airport. I didn’t have to be at the airport till 9ish so I went back up to the room to take a little nap.

Day 4 (one of the longest days of my life)

I woke up at 8:00 am to a call from my driver guy saying he was on his way. “Fuck I am super tired”. The dude picks me up and we drive to the middle of nowhere to the airport (if you have ever been to the Sacramento Airport you know what I mean). I check in, go through security, get to my gate and sit down and watch football at the airport bar. I get on the plane about an hour later, sit in my seat and pass the fuck out. The plane lands in San Diego I get off, get my bag and get picked up by a homie of mine. It’s like 1:00 pm. I still have to go and finish getting the rest of my shit out of my apartment. Now I must have lost my mind, read the calender wrong or I’m just a retard, but I knew my lease was up on the 20th of September. I had made plans with Joanna like a month prior to this weekend and I had thought that I would be home on the 20th (Sunday in my world) and I could wrap up any loose ends at my place and be good to go. Not so much. The 20th was that Saturday not Sunday, fuck I’m dumb sometimes. Whatevers the apartment office didn’t really care and my roomates had partied like rockstars on Saturday so they were slacking just as much as me. So I get to my apartment at about 2:00 pm. Wow, I still had a lot of shit there turns out. Whatever I can do this in about an hour, I’ve got plenty of time. Why do I care about time, well I had to be in LA at 5:00 pm to host one of my shows for Emergenza . Yeah I’m a bad ass MC for them and I set up all the gear and run the shit with my homie Kristine. Well it took me about two hours to get all my shit out of my apartment. I was starting to get a little bit nervous about time now and my lack of it. I was going to drop off all my stuff at my friends house and then head up to LA (it’s about a two hour drive) but I didn’t have enough time. SOOOOOO I drove up to LA with a truck full of my stuff, some of which almost fell out and I had to pull over and put in the cab of my truck.
I get to Safari Sams meet up with Kristine and start setting up our gear. The show goes off with out too many hic-ups for the first show of our season. The crew at Safari Sams is super rad by the way. They have a super hot bartender there too, I flirt with her constantly, but she has a super serious boyfriend so I don’t try anything funny. Anyway the show gets done around 12:15 am, I break down the gear and say goodbye to everyone. Now you may be thinking thats a pretty long day right? Yeah it was and guess what its not over. I still had to drive BACK to San Diego and go to my Day Job at seven. Fuck me running. I get “home” (home is my friends house I am staying at till I’m fully moved into my new place), pass the fuck out (again) then wake up at 7:00 am to go to work that morning. I show up to work in zombie mode, work for a few hours then say fuck this I have to go home. But do I go “home” and take a well deserved nap, NO. I STILL have to go to my old apartment and get the last little bit of stuff out (stuff my roommates found that was mine) and turn in my keys and what not. I do that, go my new apartment, sign the lease, give them almost a grand in rent deposit stuff and then go “home”. My buddies wife made dinner, I watched some of the Monday Night Football game where The Chargers fucking wrecked shop on the Jets. So I totally passed the fuck out on the couch at about 8:00 pm and got some much needed rest.

Moral of the story, well there’s a couple. Don’t move out of your place at the last minute, hit on strippers with caution (they night not like boys even if their shirt says they do), and don’t be a creepy old guy.

Oh and tips on POV porno, make the girl fuck you so the camera doesn’t shake (thats all that really matters I guess). For a good example check out POV Punx


Why stripping can be dangerous

I am reminded of this story due to the fact that in a couple hours I have the honor of hanging out with Joanna Angel this weekend while she is feature dancing in Sacramento. If you want to meet me (probably not) or see the the lovely Joanna check her out here Joanna is gettin naked, Rad So yeah stripping, ok here we go. As you might already know I am in the process of moving, moving sucks but moving my furniture and what not also made me this of this story. I have a stripper pole in my living room. Now it’s not just one of those ones that goes between the floor and the cealing, no it’s a 4×4 foot square stage that stands a foot off the ground with an eight foot pole sticking out of the middle. It’s pretty rad. Well one night the roomies and I decide to go out and get wasted and the bars down the street. We defiantly accomplished that goal. We got trashed and in the process of getting trash we met several girls. One set of girls happened to be from outside the United States actually they were from Germany. Now I like to give myself goals with girls, like have I ever nailed a German girl? Not yet, no better time then tonight, right? My thoughts exactly, BST accomplish your goals. So I flirt with this girl give her some sweet talking and I get her number. So I go away from here to leave her wanting more, which I love doing, I mean I’m easy but not that easy. So we continue getting wasted, and before you know it, its last call. Well this party is not over we are going back to our place to continue partying of course. So I talk to the German chick (I call her the Germen chick to protect the innocent fuck the innocent I just don’t remember her name) tell her to maybe come over later and give her a kiss goodbye (smooth huh this is about twelve hard drinks deep too). Well I step outside the bar, where are my roomies, they’re across the street in a cab. I run over to them and hop in the cab and low and behold there is another girl in the backseat of the cab. This is one of the many girls that I had talked to that night so I thought “Sweet I should bang this chick tonight”. So in the four and half minute drive back to our place this girl (Dive Bomber Lisa, you’ll get the name later) and I are making out like it’s no bodies business. We get back to the apartment and start fooling around some more. While fooling around she notices that there is a stripper pole in my living room (which is hard not to notice because my place isn’t that big and it’s right in the fucking middle of my apartment). She wants to dance on it, of course, and I’m not gonna stop her. Mind you that my homies Chuck, Wade and Lili are all watching this along with myself, cheering her on and what not. Now Dive Bomber Lisa is not the greatest pole dancer I have ever seen by far. For some reason she decides she wants to do a hand stand one the stage, ok cool that means her top is gonna fall down and I’ll get to see here boobies and I love me some boobies. Now let me first further describe my stripper pole. It has a metal “floor” with a kinda sharp edge around the stage, keep that in mind. So Dive Bomber Lisa is drunk too, she does her handstand and then comes down pretty hard, with most of the impact going from her shin to the kinda sharp edge of the stage. “Wow, that looked like it hurt”, I said in a semi-slurred voice. She says nothing. “Here you’re bleeding a little bit let me get you a paper towel”. I grab the paper towel and put in on her leg. “Is it bad”, she asks. “No it’s not to (lifting the paper towel off her leg now) HOLY SHIT!!!, Wade get some stuff to fix this”, (Wade is a highly trained, first aid type guy with lots of expertise in drunken triage care). Now Dive Bomber Lisa (get the name now) is fucking crying and bleeding all over my kitchen floor. Wade cleans her up and wraps her wounds finally and she shuts up. There was talk of taking her to the hospital but we decided that Wades job was good enough. Right around this time my phone starts to ring, guess who? The German chick. Now here comes a dick move on my part, don’t judge me, I don’t judge you. I tell the German chick “Yeah come on over we’ll have a good time (aka sex)”. She does. Now I said this because I figured Dive Bomber Lisa was out of commission and was not DTF anymore. The German chick arrives, right away I take her in my bedroom and begin fooling around with her. Dive Bomber Lisa walks in “So this is how its gonna be”, “Well you can join in” she doesn’t want anything to do with it. Whatever, so I bang the shit out of the German chick, wake up super early (still drunk) and hit the road towards a family function after dropping the German Chick off at home. To make things even more crazy, about a month later I’m hanging out at The Wave House and who do I see, Dive Bomber Lisa, now the only reason I remembered her is because she’s like “Hey Brian!! Check it out, seven stitches”. Wow what a way to end a weekend of drunken debauchery. The German Chick Dive Bomber Lisa

Bitches be hatin..

So I should be packing my stuff right now but I decided to cause a ruckus instead. So like I just said I’m packing because I’m moving out of my apartment. My current roommates are moving to The City of Angels, the reason why is because Wade (one of my roommates) is going to begin recording his new album. Check out his band, Two Word Name they are rad and they’re all my homies. He’s taking his girlfriend too so that leaves me with no roommates. I figured me being a 24 year old guy it is time for me to live by myself. Now I am not a big fan of moving (who is really), so I figured I’d make it easy on myself and stay in the same apartment complex and only have to move a little ways instead of a long ways. Perfect sense right, my thoughts exactly. Well about a month and half ago I, being Brian Street Team decided to bang one of the girls that works in the office of my apartment complex. Now, I thought this will be cool, this chick had a pretty fucking awesome body, face so so I guess and overall cool person (so I thought). We would flirt in the office and one day she asked for my number. I gave it to her and about a week after she called me up and was wondering what I was up to. I wasn’t doing shit that night so she came over for a couple beers. Now I was going to have a couple beers, she proceeded to drink like a fucking fish and get kinda wasted. Now don’t get me wrong, I like to drink, but this chick was throwing down like that there was no tomorrow. Turns out we ended up banging that night, it wasn’t bad but I expected more from her. She looked like a girl that would be good a taking dick. She took it well but she didn’t really give it back too much and she made weird faces while we were fucking. It kinda trip me out. So anyway after we’re done we’re outside smoking talking about how “this is cool we can just bang wheneverNSA just DTFRad. Well we hooked up maybe two more times and I kinda lost interest, she on the other hand did not. She kept calling me fucking late, when I was sleeping, FYI don’t bug me when I’m sleeping I like to sleep, it just might make me angry with you and usually nothing bugs me. So yeah she was starting to call and text and call and text and generally bugging the shit out of me. I found out she wanted be more than just fuck buddies, not for me. I also found out she was jammed packed with issues, also not for me. I told her lets just be friends, no more sex, just friends. She didn’t like that, she called me later that night fucking crying, I hate it when girls cry for no reason, if your leg is broken or someone dies thats ok but over me. There’s no reason for it. Well I thought we were good now because she was helping me get an apartment in my same apartment complex and everything so we were cool right, wrong. Well she did find me an apartment, what do you know its three doors down from her apartment. Hmm, I thought wow thats weird, 500 apartments and she gives me the one three doors down from her? Well anyway we do all the paper work except the deposit and I’m good to move in, well move in almost three weeks after I have to move out of my current apartment. I figured no big deal, I could couch surf for a bit then move in, no big deal. Well a couple days after that I thought to myself “Self it might be a bad idea to be living three doors down from this semi crazy chick that wants your nuts maybe just a bit too much”. So I went to a different apartment complex and checked out what they had to offer. Well they had the exact same apartment for 200 dollars cheaper and I could move in the day after I have to be out of my current apartment. Deal, yes score one for BST. Now this chick was hold my “new’ apartment for me without me paying the deposit because I couldn’t afford it that day, so she was gonna hold it for a week, cool move on her part for sure. The day after I found the cheaper apartment I walked up to the office and told her I found a different place. She was pissed and I did could not give two shits or even one shit. Well I left the office and about three and minutes she sends me a text saying I have to pay a holding fee and she would be sending me a bill. What the FUCK!! The apartment wasn’t gonna be ready for another month almost and now you’re gonna send me a bill for a place I’m not even staying at. I don’t think so. I think she’s just being a stupid cunt. So if you want to send her evil messages on myspace you can here Just make sure you don’t send anything till next week when I’m at my new place or just don’t mention my name. HAHAHAHAHAH LULZ.

Dr. Loves is for fuckin not love

So as some of you might know I work at a porn store called Doctor Loves. What an awesome job, I get to act like a total pervert all day, sell hot girls dildos and vibrators, give douche bags shit for being afraid of coming into a porn store with thier girlfriends and hook up with my fellow co-workers. I know what everyone says “Keep the office and the bedroom seperate” but I say fuck that. I am the only guy that works there with like four hot girls. So naturally, being Brian Street Team, I want to bang all of them. Now one of the girls is my manager and a good friend of mine and her husband is a good friend of mine so she is off limits (I do have some morals after all, *self pat on the back*). But the other girls game motha fuckin on. So lets talk about the first girl I hooked up with from good ol’ D Loves (D loves is short for Doctor Loves, I’m gansta like that).
This was almost a year ago when I first made my stake on the D Loves crew, now to give Elyse credit she did not have sex with me, we just made out without any shirts on. Don’t get me wrong I tried to seal the deal with her but I figured we were homies and maybe the whole sex thing would get in the way of our friendship. Once again my morales showing up and semi-cock blocking me. Whatever, she had/has AMAZING tits and I got to put them in my mouth, so props to me.
Now fast forward almost a year, to about a month ago. I didn’t work at D Loves for awhile because it was slow and I really didn’t need to work there but then summer rolled around, it got busy and they needed my expertise in hustling smut again so I started working there again. Anyway, since then they had hired a new girl, Sam, wow she is hot. tattooed up, tight little body and it turns out a total freak in the sack. So when I started working there Sam had a boyfriend, lame. Whatevs I still put on the heavy flirt and told how much I wanted to have butt sex with her, the whole nine. Well Sam broke up with her boyfriend eventually and let me tell you I was stoked. She was pretty bummed about it so I didn’t go in for the kill right away, I waited about a week because I’m such a nice guy. So about a week goes by and I decided I was gonna go to the Del Mar Race Track because A: Its fun to go there, get wasted and smoke cigars with rich people and B: I won tickets from The 91x Morning Show. So I had two tickets and I asked Sam if she wanted to go with me to the races. Of course she did, duh. So we go have a few drinks, leave a little early, go watch the sunset on the beach all kinds of romantic shit. So deal sealed right, not so much. I went in for the kill on the beach and was DENIED, big time. FUCK, what do I have to do? On the way home I asked her if she wanted me to drop her off at home or come back to my house for some margaritas…Margaritas it was. Turns out we went back to my house and got pretty tore up. Then we had some drunken sex, not my best performance but fun non the less. So fast forward about a month from that. Sam and I are both at the D loves and we’re both pretty horny, I guess being surronded by sex toys and porn gets the sex blood flowing. So it was super dead in there, no real customers all night. I’m flirting with Sam, as usual, and I say to her “Hey lets go in the bathroom and fool around” (the bathroom is the only place in the store without cameras). So of course we go in the bathroom, start making out and then Sam starts blowing me. That was awesome!! I was like “Rad, I just got a hummer at the porn store how perfect is that”. So about a half hour goes by, I’m still fired up and Sam is super fired up because I got mine and she just got more horny. So of course I take her in the bathroom, again, I bent her over the sink and made her cum so hard she almost broke the sink off the wall in the bathroom. What a great night at work, I left about 20 minutes later (my shift was over) and went and got drunk at a show.
The next girl from D loves was much eaiser than Sam but equally as cool. I had to close on Friday night, my manager told me I would be training the new girl on how to close. “Is she hot”, I asked. “Yeah she’s cute and she has huge boobs”, replied Jodi (my manager). “Fuckin Rad”, (I don’t know if you noticed but I say Rad a lot, deal with it, it’s one of my favorite words). So I show up to work on Friday and there is Ashely. Sweet she is cute and yes she does have big, nice, like real nice boobies. So I introduce myself and we get to know eachother, you know the usual new co-worker banter. We get on the topic of sex, of course. She starts telling me how she likes it and how all these dudes she’s been hooking up with have small dicks. Sucks for her I guess, word on the street girls don’t like small wieners. Now I’m no freak with like a 14 inch pussy slayer, but I’m pretty confident in the fact that my dick is not small. I inform Ashely later on in the night that it is perfectly ok for co-workers at D Loves to have sex. She doesn’t seem to be too keen on the idea but that changes later. We flirt some during the night and I keep telling her how much I want to put my face in her cleavage and what not. Finally towards the end of the night she says “Ok Brian, give me your number” I give it to her and she lets me know that she’s gonna meet up with some her friends after work then call me. Rad, I’m totally gonna bang this girl later. We close up the store, I go home, she goes to meet up with friends. I live about 8 blocks from the store and I went to work on my motorcycle so it takes me about three and half minutes to get home. In those three and half minutes she has sent me three texts. “My friends are way too drunk I’m going home”,”Here’s my address ****** I’m gonna hop in the shower, come over” and “Bring condoms”. Wow, is it that easy, yes it is. So I hop on my bike again and head over to her house, she’s on the phone with some bouncer she’s kinda dating telling him she’s just gonna stay in and go to bed. True she was just gonna stay in and she was gonna be in bed just with me balls deep inside of her. So I pretty much fucked the life out of her for about an hour, then told her I was tired and I was going to leave. She didn’t mind that she could barely stand so it was cool that I took off. I left, went home and went to sleep. Yet another great day at work for BST.

Movies and Boobs

You know I think movies or films (if you are a elegant movie buff) are lacking constant boob shots. I swear back in the 80’s there were boobs all the time like all the time. I just got done watching Fast Times at Ridgemont High, boobs all over the place. Hollywood get your shit together and get some more boobs on film. So why I open with this is I got the pleasure of being in a horror movie this weekend, no not a porn, but there were a lot of porn people in it. There was I think ten or something. Any way it was super rad, I got killed with a shovel by a crazy hooker. We, and when I say we I mean Sparky from BurningAngel, got to make out and since Matt Pizzolo (the director) was so rad, I got to take Sparky’s top off and suck on her boobs. Then some other stuff happens I don’t want to give it away because I want all of you to go to Halo 8 to find out more about Slumber Party Slaughterhouse. There was also another actress involved in the movie who I later got to know just a bit later, actually I totally had sex with her. Yeah it was kinda easy actually this is how it went down, I’ll just call her Jackie just in case she reads this today.

BST-“Man all I need is a chick that is DTF

Jackie(thinking, she told me this later)-“Wow, I am totally DTF right now

later that night…

BST-“So Jackie why don’t you give me your number so we can fuck sometime when you don’t have a boyfriend”

Jackie-“You don’t have to wait that long”

BST-“Really? Rad, what are you up to tonight?”

Jackie-“Well my place is a total mess, I just got back from vacation”

BST-“Is your bed cleared off? Thats all we really need.”

Jackie-“Good, point lets go.”

So we drive back to her house, we got lost for a bit because she didn’t know how to get back to her house from where we were and I forgot to turn when my GPS told me to. Anyway we got back to her place, she wasn’t kidding the place was thrashed. All kinds of clothes and crap all over the place. I was kinda scared to park my nice newish truck in her hood to because it was in fact, the hood. Whatever, I knew I was going to get some and no ones perfect and really I don’t care where you fucking live. And besides that this girl was really cool, we totally had a fun time getting killed all that night and Sparky and I were both flirty with her big time all night. So we totally banged like three or four times for a couple hours. I don’t know what it was (maybe the five RedBulls I had that day) but my dick was like a fucking rock the whole time. It was crazy, I totally came at least three times and still strong like bull. I wasn’t really complaining and she was happy so all around good time was had by both parties, I totally made her squirt, which I think is soooooo rad every girl should squirt…all over me. Anyway we woke up early in the morning and had sex again, I liked it, again then I went back to my friends house, we ate breakfast, then I went home and watched football. Yes I love football, its rad and I don’t care what you think about it. All in all a fantastic weekend, I had sex, got killed and watched football. I love my life sometimes, wait check that, all the time.

Sparky being dead

<img src=”; alt=”Sparky being dead”

Just to start this machine off

Hi I’m Brian Street Team. I like to have sex and on occasion I’m lucky enough to get paid for it. I am no super star or too cool to talk to you. If you send me your AIM I’ll talk to you and if you’re a girl and I think you’re hot I’ll probably show you my wiener, yeah I’m that easy. So I hope you enjoy my trials and tribulations of being a cock jock or whore what ever you want to call it. Yep I’m a whore so now you know I won’t get offended if you call me one, I learned that from a true porn star queen.