Religion…I think not

So I was IMing this girl but her roommate was on her lap top and this is the conversation that insued.


cause that would be awesome

hi this is isabels friend daphne
hi there
her friend was having a problem in the lab and she’s the only one thats really good with final cut pro so she ran downstairs for a minute.
want me to call her?
na its cool
jut let her know im around

okay. oh wait, im sorry. what’s your name?
ill text her for you
Brian Steet Team

your last name is street team?
is this some kind of inside joke that she’ll understand?
okay. i just texted her. hopefully she’ll be back up in a minute. everyone bombards her with questions when she goes into the lab so something that would normally take five minutes takes like half an hour.
and ironically she hates editing.
ok thanks

do you go to nyu too? would i know you from anywhere?
no, i live in San Diego
oh. i guess i wouldnt know you.
kk she just texted back and told me to tell you that she’s excited and she’ll be back soon
8:55 PM
are you the guy shes been fucking?
whats she excited about
talking to me duh
9:00 PM
ohhhh ur the dude she wants to video chat with
you solved the mystery

9:10 PM
im like sherlock homes
or whatever
You left the chat.
Reconnecting to ***********…
im so proud of you
yeah im like mega smart.
9:15 PM
has isabel ever mentioned anything about her sex life to you. would oyu know the guys name
do you know how she met me?
she saw me having sex on the internet
yeah I do porn
wait really
yeah for reals
its fun stuff

wait but
how does she talk to you now.
she asked me for im and i gave it to her because shes hot
9:20 PM
this doesnt sound like a real story.
she randomly found porn
and tracked your email down
and wanted to IM you
and now you two talk
she found me on the website i work for
isabel watches porn?
doesnt everyone?
ew i dont
you’re lame then you should watch more porn
Im probably gonna fly out to NYC to make a video with her and just cum all over her

omg shes gonna do porn??
maybe it pays pretty good
ew but that makes her trashy and dirty
and like
how is that
so Im trashy and dirty
you dont even know me
ya but like
ur like selling your body
sex is private.
are you a virgin?
are you ugly?
i have a boyfriend.
that doenst mean your not ugly
so just because isabel gets hit on all the time
means she can do porn and not be trashy
and sex can just be casual
wait you didnt answer my question
im not ugly.
prove it
9:30 PM
i dont have to send you pictures.
well I’m not saying your ugly I think you’re just afraid to express yourself sexualy
You left the chat.
Reconnecting to **********…
[Offline IM sent 1m ago] isabel doesn’t act like a whore
************* is now online.
isabel doesnt act like a whore. well at least i didnt think she was. i mean i knew she had guys over
ew why do guys like her if she wants to do porn
doing porn doesnt make you a whore
it just makes you up front with thing

Girls that take dick all day and go around saying they don’t are worse than girls that are up front about the sex they have
and I respect that way more

9:35 PM
she doesnt like talk about ths stuff ever. i mean like
i dont bring up [porn
cause thats weird
but she doesnt seem dirty
you dont have to be dirty to be into porn
i just dont undertand why all these guys want to date her
i bet if they knew
she wanted to do porn they wouldnt
are you jealous of her or something?
what? no.
i have a boyfriend.
that doesn’t mean you’re not jealous
why would i be jealous of her
thats just what it seems like to me
maybe you need to explore your sexuality a little bit
like have more of it
I think you need to get laid

my boyfriend goes to a different college
or go masturbate or something
9:45 PM
thats one of the best things ever
what are you some crazy morman or something
im not a mormon. im catholic.
oh so do you touch little boys
religion is for suckers

no its not
i have a deep relationship with god.
i just dont understand this
i have to go through up
ok im back

Direct Instant Message session started
my boyfriend said that
he likes me the way i am.
9:50 PM
thats offensive
or a fucking priceless piece of art
okay explain this to me
why is it that all of these guys
chase after isabel
and she clearly has no morals
Im sure she has some
maybe shes fun and doesn’t judge people for what they like to do

9:55 PM
yeah too much fun
with too many guys
as long as your safe who cares
youre probably just going to be another one of her guys
and youre okay with that?
I’m not gonna marry the girl, I’m also realistic
NYC-San Diego thats about a 3000 miles to be more then just fuck buddies

i didnt realize her personality was good enough to keep a guy interested
well so far so good
you not so much

I bet your boyfriend is banging all kinds of chicks at his school
10:00 PM
no hes not.
how do you know
because i knowhe isnt
how old is he?
how long have you been together?
since we were 15
he’s banging some other chick
I think he’s bored with you
you should go blow him to keep him around

ew there are naked photos of her on her computer
just so oyu know
isabel isnt that hot.
you just like her cause she has blonde hair and boobs
send me those pictures let me be the judge of how hot she is
she can look bad too.
thats a cute one
what do you look like?
10:10 PM

you’re cute too why are not any fun
i told yu i wasnt ugyl.
Direct Instant Message session ended
10:15 PM
Reconnecting to ************
you didnt lie
You left the chat.
Reconnecting to ***********
my boyfriend says im prettier.
yeah maybe but I dont think you’re as much fun
Direct Instant Message session started

which one are you?
i can be fun
i sent you a picture already.
im in the white
what did you make out with that girl?
cause thats fun

im not gay.
kissing doesnt make you gay
the bible says it should be man and woman
you shouldn’t base you life on fairy tales
theres a bad photo of her too
shes not that hot. im trying to tell you that
no shes still hot
10:30 PM
my boyfriend says her nose looks pointy
your face looks oily
it was hot out.
her face is shiny to
now youre just making stuff up
no i meant
the girl in the picture with me
not really
she makes weird faces.
10:35 PM
and dorky smilies
man youre a hater
no i just think you should reevaluate why you like her
its probably just for her appearance
and im showing you
its nothing special
I think you’re just jealous
10:40 PM
of what
her stereotypical blonde hair and big boobs?
Direct Instant Message session ended
Reconnecting to ***********…
yes those are cool
10:45 PM
just because im religious and i support bush doesnt make me less appealing
or hot
no the fact that you are narrow minded are sexually repressed makes you less appealing
10:55 PM

isabel wants you to go so we can internet sex
you still like her?
11:00 PM
You left the chat.
Reconnecting to ********…
thats weird
because she is cool

So I’m kinda an asshole but this was soo funny


Kids these days…

So I’m work at Doctor Loves the other day working with Bri. Now she seems like a pretty smart girl for a couple reasons. One, she goes to college for bio-chemical engineering or something like that and two…well I can’t think of a second reason because what she said to me the other day made me almost lose my mind.

Since its Halloween time good ol’ D Loves transforms from a pretty legit porn shoppe to a slutty costume shop. Now I am a big fan of slutty costumes (who isn’t right) but we put some of other cool shit away for Halloween which bums me out sometimes. ANYWAY, all the employees have to wear costumes to while at work to get people interested in buying all our rad slutty costumes. Now I’m the only guy that works there and the selection of guys costumes is kinda limited so I have to be creative sometimes. So one evening I decided to go as the Karate Kid pre All Valley Karate Tournament, so basically I wore a baseball shirt, jeans and a pair of Chucks and a Karate Kid head band. To me this made perfect sense but to some one that has NEVER SEEN THE KARATE KID, it was a complete mystery. For reals you have never seen the Karate Kid!? WOW am I that old to have seen the Karate Kid like a million times, no. She’s just missing out on one of the most amazing movies ever.

The Karate Kid headband made me think of this whore of a girl I know. Now I can call here a whore because that’s what she calls herself, a whore, she likes dick, good for her. So I was drunk one night at the bar, it was last call and I hadn’t sealed any deals for the evening, I drunkenly gaze across the bar and I see the whore. Well you’ll do I guess. We pore ourselves into a cab and go back to my place. We don’t mess around with small talk we just walk strait into my room and proceed to get down. Now right before the actual penis into vagina action I tell her to hold on for one sec. Now I don’t say hold on to get my love glove on (that part is already taken care of), no I rummage through my closet and stand up looking something like this

“OK lets do this” I say. She doesn’t even bat an eye and we have drunken sloppy, dirty sex for a couple hours. About a week later my buddy asks the whore,
“You had sex with Brian right?”


“Was he wearing a Karate Kid headband while you two were fucking?”



It was rad one of my finer moments. In other news I got to hang out with some of my favorite peeps this weekend and one of the raddest chicks on the planet.

We had a reserved table and whiskey

Not only does Kimberly Kane have her tongue in my mouth but her hands on my junk.

Joanna was dressed up as white trash it was rad.

James Deen and Joanna deciding what to eat

Julene (the raddest girl on the planet by the way) and I deciding what to eat

Yeah it was a pretty awesome weekend filled with metal shows and run down theaters that look like you should be shooting up heroine

Well that is it for now kiddies, have fun at Halloween!!!!


It’s been like fucking forever since I’ve updated anyone on my adventures so where do I begin. Since I’ve last been around I was in the process of moving, well I’m done now. Move complete I know live by myself in a super rad studio apartment. It’s awesome my stripper pole really completes the room. Anyway I have been banging a lot of chicks (of course) but I still don’t have time to tell you about it right now, I promise I will soon. But for now here is some stuff I have been doing.

I went to the XOXO Joanna release party at Les Deux, I got super wasted then my douche bag left me in LA but I still had fun at the party here are pictures to prove it.

James Deen and I


Joanna Angel and I


Cali Nova (my porn girlfriend) and I


this is why she’s my porn girlfriend


its fuzzy but you get the point.

Any way Joanna started a blog site and linked me so I’m linking her. Check it out and show here all kinds of love because she is super rad. XOXO Joanna Angel

I promise I will update more stuff soon.


Help for a good cause

Well you probably know about my great beautiful friend Madison Mitchel and her life long goal to live near her BWCFF (Best Web Cam Friend Forever) Brian Street Team. Well maybe that’s not the entire reason but she really wants to move to The City of Angels. So empty out your piggy bank and give her all the money you can to help her live her dreams in sunny California. If you do I’ll give you a hug and if you’re a hot girl, I’ll have sex with you.